March 30
So driving home from cub scouts bowling night tonight, Matt got his fingers stuck in one of those Chinese finger traps. The next 10 minutes until we got home, Matt cried and tried to yank his fingers out, while the rest of us tried to verbally explain the trick, "Matt, the more you pull, the tighter it'll get!" "Pull one finger at a time!" "He's gonna break it!" Finally, we told him to just hold on and we'd free him when we got home. He just sat there, tears streaming down his face, muttering "I knew this was a bad choice." Does it make me a bad mom that I couldn't stop giggling??
April 11
Let me just set the stage for you all. It takes Matthew, on average, 3 times as long to eat supper than the rest of us. And Mark teaches at NECCO on Wednesday nights, so we ate early. Now that we have that cleared up, Matt was all alone eating in the kitchen, taking his sweet old time digesting each piece of chicken, or green bean, or noodle before he took the next bite. I was folding laundry in the family room. It was quiet in the kitchen. Too quiet. Then I hear Matt calling me:
Matt: Mom! Guess what I figured out?
Me: What?
Matt: Apparently noodles stick to the wall!
April 28
Matthew will do just about anything to avoid eating his banana at breakfast. Just overheard - Matt: "Jillian, you know what?" Jill: "What?" Matt: "You have beautiful eyes."
July 9
Jill walked into my room at 4:00 am this morning and said, "I don't want to be married to Uncle Mike any more." I assured her she wasn't married to him and she said okay and went back to bed.
July 18
Jillian: "When are we ever going to go to England?"
Me: "Someday. Why?"
Jillian: "I really want to meet the Queen and the Prince and Princess."
August 9
Yes, that was my son in Market Basket with gut wrenching sobs next to the lobster tank begging me to "buy a poor little lobster" so we could rescue it and set it free.
August 11
Matt stuck wads of duct tape to his hands and feet and is now trying to walk up walls.
August 24
In other non-related news: things you don't want to hear when you're taking a shower - "mum? What do spiders eat? I caught one and I'm going to keep him as a pet." and "mom, the funniest thing just happened! The two frogs [pets in the fish tank] are lying in top of each other and wrestling!"
September 17
Jillian and Matt were watching the part of the Lorax where the mom, grammy Norma and Ted are playing the board game Scrabble. Matt says, "What game are they playing?" Jill replies, "Oh, that's the old fashioned way of playing Words with Friends."
October 4
Overheard from the kids doing homework: Jill: "Can I borrow your eraser?" Matt: "That'll cost you 2 million bucks." Jill: "2 million bucks?!" Matt: "2 million bucks and 90 cents." Jill: "But I don't have that kind of money." Matt: "Then just give me one dollar. That's four quarters." Jill: "Okay."
October 30
Jillian: "Oh you're kidding me! You have GOT to be pulling on my leg!"
November 6
Setting: waiting at the ENT for Matt about his tonsils and adenoids. I'm getting very... Annoyed... with my children - if they say they're bored or if I have to tell them to sit down one more time, I'm going to lose it. Matt: "So mom, how's your day so far?" Me: "Peachy." Matt: "Mom. That's your sarcasm voice." Yes Matt. Yes, it is.
November 29
I love sitting in the other room when the kids are eating and listening to their conversations. Jill: Don't you wish we had no parents? We could do whatever we want. Matt: .... no... because then we'd be orphans. Jill: But we could do whatever we want! Matt: ... Jill: We could poop on the rug! Matt: [still taking this way too seriously, in spite of me choking in the background] But we'd have to go live in an orphanage, and we wouldn't have anything to eat or drink! Jill: I'm sure I could find a juice box or something on the ground.
December 5
Jillian reading a story to her friend Lilly: "The angels sang, crust is born!" Me: Jillian, I think that's supposed to be "Christ."
December 28
Overheard between Matthew and his best friend today: Matt: you're my best friend so I know I can trust you. Anthony: I trust you too. Matt: Aw, thanks! That's so nice. Anthony: You're welcome. Matt: So this is my secret: I'm going to marry Gianna when I grow up Anthony: REALLY?? *Laughs hysterically* Matt: Yeah. One time I was behind the tree and Gianna came up and kissed me on the cheek. Me: high-pitched unintelligible squealing.
Just now:
[Watching Return of the Jedi] Jill: Is Jabba the Hut a giant piece of poop? Me: Huh... he kind of does look like that, doesn't he?
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